some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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