i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
