Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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