Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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