marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I must be too annoying 4 u.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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