Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
