He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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