I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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