talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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