he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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