remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
