Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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