You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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