oh god the rape fog is back!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Panties = found
Randomize