The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
