I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
