member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
