No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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