I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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