i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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