So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
