so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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