Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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