is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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