So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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