they need to just BURY HIM!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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