it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
