After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
