i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
