I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
