Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
