On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
