Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
