the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
