New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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