she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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