Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
