Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize