i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize