A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize