New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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