just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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