Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
