she was so not down for the gang bang
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize