Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
