I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
