I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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