Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
