sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
