that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
