I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
