forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
