So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
