I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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