a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
