Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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