Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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