So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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