He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
