My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
